A Principle of Behavior
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A Principle of Behavior
Here’s something to think about the next time you are dealing with a behavior issue. Could be anywhere. Work, home, school, community, organization,
I came up with a principle. I looked around a bit and I don’t see it articulated exactly this way anywhere else. I could be wrong. And there are many expressions and applications that seem related, but nothing quite like this.
Ready?
It’s called the “Conservation of Behavior” Principle, or the COB Principle for short.
Here’s how it works.
You’ve probably heard of conservation of mass. That’s essentially what stoichiometry is in chemistry. When there’s a chemical reaction both sides of the equation have to match. You may get different compounds, but all the atoms are accounted for.
Einstein showed a bit later that it’s not just conservation of mass, but conservation of energy. Mass is a form of energy.
So, the mass can go away, but it doesn’t really - it just turns to energy. And it’s a WHOLE LOTTA energy! That’s how atomic power and atomic explosions work.
It’s what e=mc^2 means. There is so much energy in matter that we need to multiply it, not only by the speed of light, but by the speed of light SQUARED to calculate and express how much!
So, physical systems balance. That’s what these laws are about.
What about social systems though? They work in similar ways, but not identical ways.
And that’s what the COB principle helps us to see.
It’s actually the first of 4 social system laws. They are:
1. Conservation of Behavior (COB) Principle
2. Transcendental Non-Zero-Sum Social Stoichiometry (T(NZS)SS)
3. Recursive Benevolence Scaling (RBS)
4. Civilizational Telos Expansion(CTE)
They go from local to universal, and basic to advanced. Don’t worry about number 4 if it seems grandiose. We don’t start there. We start at #1.
Let’s talk about it. The COB Principle.
In chemistry we say that matter is neither created nor destroyed (but it can change forms).
In physics we say that energy is neither created nor destroyed (but it can change forms).
The social law is this:
Behavior is neither created nor destroyed (but it can change forms)
It’s qualified though. Because birth and death represent the genesis and terminus of behavior, respectively.
So, within the lifespan, behavior is neither created nor destroyed.
You are always behaving, as is everyone else. In some manner.
There’s a great line from a noir-style musical called City of Angels, from the song “Ev’rybody’s Gotta Be Somewhere”:
🎵 On the loose and so elusive
You won't find her ’til you've check every avenue
Like a diamond in a coal mine
She's where you would least expect
Try to track her down
Go over the whole darn town
Go on a fishin’ expedition
Everybody's gotta be somewhere
Girls don't vanish in thin air
But where where where where? 🎵
From the moment we are physically embodied up through the moment we leave our bodies, we are in a physical location and behaving in a certain way at every moment.
No escape, no relief, no exceptions.
Solid behavior from birth to death.
Right now. In the previous moment, and the next.
And all behaviors get results.
Some results we like and some we don’t.
Now, what if we are unhappy with our results?
What if we are unhappy with the results of someone else’s behavior?
What if we are unhappy with someone else’s behavior, results aside (this unhappiness is a result BTW)?
Let’s take a moment here to think about that.
Maybe your instinct is to stop the behavior, or tell the other person to stop.
But, remember the law though: Within the lifespan, behavior is neither created nor destroyed.
So, we can’t stop it, because that would be destroying the behavior.
Instead, we need it to change forms. That’s the solution to every social problem. I promise that it is.
So, how do we change behaviors?
We consider where they come from.
Because as long as individual people are present in space and time, they are exhibiting behaviors, whether they wish to or not.
And all behaviors have motivations.
The motivations are visions of telos.
Telos is essentially an Ancient Greek word that means “purpose” or “end goal”.
The cruelty of the human condition is, in large part, the consignment to behaviors that can neither be created nor destroyed, and are always seeking a goal.
So, if you examine this behavior that you don’t like, what is the telos that drives it? What does it seek? What does the person want?
I guarantee you will always find it if you look carefully enough and ask the right questions, and if the other person (or yourself) is honest.
We have telos, whether we wish to or not. That is the challenge and also the great opportunity of life.
Now, remember. Within the lifespan, behavior can neither be created nor destroyed.
Therefore, it must be changed and/or redirected.
And this requires a diagnosis of the original telos and realignment toward a new one.
And this requires social interaction.
And social interaction always seeks one thing.
That one thing is agreement.
Agreement is simply mutual alignment of telos between all parties.
Mutual alignment happens when all parties involved fully understand and accept the promise of the new, unified telos between them and see the respective parts they must play on the way.
That is how to think about the COB (Conservation of Behavior) Principle.
But wait, there’s more!
Because human social interaction has another dimension. It is spiritual. Spiritual is not necessarily religious. Religious tends to work with the spiritual, but actually all human interaction is spiritual. Religions just tend to be much more honest about their scope of work.
Human interaction is spiritual, which means that the material constraints don’t apply in the same ways.
Because in physical systems we have laws like:
Matter is neither created nor destroyed
Energy is neither created nor destroyed
Behavior is neither created nor destroyed
Yes, per this last law, the individual lifespan is a physical system, just as it is for animals.
But social systems are governed by a spiritual law:
Benefit in social systems is greater than the sum of its parts
This means that agreement creates more value than its individual parties bring
This is what is known as “Transcendental Non-Zero-Sum Social Stoichiometry” (T(NZS)SS)
When true agreement is found, the social system grows in benefit beyond the sum of its parts.
And when this becomes a feedback loop it continue to grow and nourish all parties. This is “Recursive Benevolence Scaling” (RBS).
And when social groups enter into agreements with one another, they continue to scale and eventually align their telos with civilization, which is Civilizational Telos Expansion (CTE). This means that personal telos is identical with civilizational telos.
And those are the social laws of civilization:
The COB Principle
T(NZS)SS
RBS
CTE
Simple. Not easy, but simple. And self-evident.
Do you disagree? If so, where do you stop following the argument? I think this is self-evident and true. Start paying attention and see for yourself. What goes wrong? Is it right to go wrong? Is part of human telos to have problems and pain? It might be. And that would be a contradiction that cries out for therapy. And I think it is.
But, can you dream big with me? What is stopping you? Eventually your telos extends to civilization because we’re all connected. Not everyone trusts this. That’s why it doesn’t appear that way. But, deep down, I think we know it’s the way.
But, don’t worry!
Like I said, start local and basic. There’s plenty of time to get advanced later.
For now, remember the simple truth, that within the lifespan behavior can neither be created nor destroyed. It must be changed and/or redirected, and this requires an investigation and realignment of telos through agreement.
Simple as that. It will change everything for you.
There’s plenty of time for everything else.
And I’m here for you.
Give me a shout if you want my advice, personalized to you.
Or, try this Custom GPT I just created for you!
https://chatgpt.com/g/g-68c04a386acc8191b5715a2a8528919a-social-telos-guide