“Each and every choice is a turning point, an entry into a new container or set of containers (we inhabit numerous containers at numerous scales all of the time), all designed to limit your freedom in various ways, to constructively constrict your possible choices so that you can more easily structure your actions as you navigate each day so as not to become existentially overwhelmed.

And if you’re lucky you can choose many of these containers, because some we can’t.  And when you inhabit the right containers you will feel free.  And when you inhabit the wrong ones you will feel trapped.  But we all have to choose them at one point or another, because life is a container of containers.  And every container contains other containers, because this works at so very many scales.  Organizations, locations, relationships, groups, activities - all are containers oriented toward different ends that will allow you to align your actions to various purposes.”

“It’s a remarkable time for you.  Overwhelming.  Exciting.  Stimulating.  Demanding.  Requiring new levels of focus, intention, energy, commitment.  It’s super cool.  I love the energy of such people at such a time.  They are primed and ready, waiting for just the right combination of strategy and pep talk from just the right person to shift their thinking, clarify their vision, strengthen their resolve.  And then they’re off and running, having hard conversations, building new habits, carefully putting the pieces in place that allow them to jump to the next level.

I do this work with people in all professions, industries, organizational shapes and sizes.  And the pattern is always the same.  It comes down to these 3 steps…”

“The story I told may seem disjunct and episodic, and to some people I’m sure it is, but I see a clear line.  Perhaps not a straight one, but a thread that ties it all together.  A thread of essence.

Many of us do many things.  And sometimes we think we’ve found the *one thing* that will take us where we are going.  But often it’s a latest best guess, and there are new corners of reality to investigate, new dynamics we simply don’t and can’t have a concept of.  Corners that are remarkably fulfilling, and a good fit for our essence.”

“I have seen this my entire life.  Parents do it.  Mentors do it.  College professors do it.  Friends do it.  Business coaches do it.  They advise their advisees to do things that come easily to them without realizing that they have innate talents and aptitudes that those in their care may not.

Do you know how to spot an inborn gift or aptitude?  Here’s the secret. Listen for “just” or “simply”.  When anyone begins a sentence with “You just…” or “You simply…”, I can almost guarantee that what follows will be a description of some kind of activity or sensibility that comes easily to them.  It’s particularly pernicious and grating when it has the feeling of a humblebrag, which starts with “Well, you just…”

Start listening for it and I guarantee you will hear this evidence of low self-awareness all around you.  I am convinced that it is responsible for a great deal of misery and self-doubt quietly experienced by so very many of us.”

“I thought about it.  I would have been happy to, because it would have added an unexpected but welcome space of family connection to my otherwise solitary and professionally-oriented day.  But it also would have meant sacrificing the time I had anticipated spending in my own personal ritual that offers its own highly customized traveling pace and the satisfaction of progressing through an intentionally-curated queue of content.  I noted the tension and prepared to make my choice.”

“Leadership is simple. Truly! All you need to understand is…”

“And if we start there we quickly realize that almost none of our lives at all exist in the present.  Because, with the exception of the current present moment, 100% of our lives have existed and will exist in the past and future respectively.  Further, a full 100% of the lives of all those who have passed were lived in the past, and a full 100% of the lives of those not yet born will be lived in the future.  Therefore, in what is essentially a direct contradiction to the original assertion, the present moment is actually almost none of what we have.”

“So, how do you like it? Want to get clarity on how to improve even more? Want to learn to work with this heavy responsibility and actually get better at discerning your own thoughts AND finding the right guidance from other people too? Because you can. And that’s really a good place to be, as long as you’re responsible for all of it anyway.

If this is speaking to you, I encourage you to join me…”

“Many people I meet have a craving.  It’s a craving for a new and better kind of life.  It’s more successful, prosperous, harmonious, influential, growth, and service-oriented.  They experience this as a persistent longing, and it touches on them personally as well as their families, organizations, and communities.

If this is you, listen up, because I’m going to tell you how to manifest a life that more closely resembles that which you crave.

Take a look around…”

“What if, as in The Matrix, we could see the code out of which reality is composed and therefore manipulate it at our pleasure?  Well, what if we can?

What if, as in Groundhog Day, we could steadily refine our behaviors to conform more and more closely to the exemplar of our ideal state?  Well, what if we can?”

“And contradiction is probably the most uncomfortable metaphysical state that exists: the tension between 2 premises that cannot both be.  Incredibly uncomfortable.  The analysis they provoke is uncomfortable.  Formulating a strategy to reconcile them is uncomfortable.  And the process of this reconciliation is uncomfortable.

But it’s an inevitable part of that growth process, of stepping out into who we feel we are meant to be.  We see glimmers of the promised land and begin to walk toward it.  Contradictions are what we face along the way.

There are 3 primary classes of contradiction with which we are faced over the course of leaving our comfort zones.  They are…”

“Maybe when we say “end everything” we are tacitly implying a metaphysic in which we acknowledge that “everything” needs the high level of awareness humans bring, that the whole system indeed improves itself with the data that our sophisticated and unprecedented human faculties provide.  And that it’s an imperfect, contradictory, competitive process with all humans jostling against one another, seeking to maximize valuation only as far as their/our limited sight can perceive.  And for this reason we need all of us, because no one else has the perspective that you offer.  And other parts of the universe conspire to stop you.

How strange.

I think about God, or at least the various concepts people offer.  It’s hard not to.  I’m a theologian at heart.

Here are two opposing statements that are both heretical, and yet the synthesis of their contradiction seems to be true….”

“So, what are your aspirations? Since action is unavoidable, it necessarily follows that we move away from certain things and toward others. What, then are you moving towards? Is it what you want? Do you want other things that you not moving toward? How would you change the alignment of those motivations to get closer to what you want and further from what you don’t?

Aspirations are beautiful because they reveal a universal human longing, which is the desire to realize a state of the highest possible value. This is what we are doing at every moment, individual, organizationally, societally, collectively, in all times and all places. It is the one common link between all human motivations and behaviors. Talk to me and I’ll help you see that more clearly.”

“Many coaches speak of “imperfect action”.  And I understand this.  Sometimes that is indeed what is needed.  Our insecurities and fears motivate us to analyze and second-guess endlessly, which paralyze and preclude us from ever taking the ACTIONs that our visions demand.

But just as often, and perhaps more frequently, I observe the opposite problem, revealed when people think that forward momentum is all they need, and thus sacrifice the rational clarity that is so essential to structuring our efforts efficiently and effectively.”

“Ordering our lives requires perpetual recentering in what we want, and this ultimately shows us how to structure the contents of our personal allotments of spacetime.  It is as simple as this, and all dissatisfaction in my life for which I have ever been personally responsible has been a result of this process breaking down or losing integrity at some point.”

“What more could I ask for?  There’s always more.  That’s life.  Human life.  And I intend to pursue it because something inside of me won’t stop.  And I invite you to do so as well, to listen to the voice within that continues to push you toward what you want, and away from what you don’t.  And I promise you’ll be glad you did.  And for that I’m also grateful…”

“Are you a leader.  Yes.  Being a leader doesn’t mean that you completely avoid avoidance.  That’s not humanly possible.  Further, your time and energy is limited.

But be honest.  You are likely avoiding at least one, if not more of these steps.  And if so, it is helpful to talk to someone like me to discern exactly where and how you are doing this.

Because then you have no excuse!  And your leadership will flow effortlessly, bringing you the results you seek.

Animals avoid too, but their STRATEGIES are instinctive, and so it is impossible for them to alter their metaphysical processes.

But humans have a barrier to growth built in.  It is this barrier that drives us to avoidance, but which your soul demands to overcome, in all times and all places.  The leader you are here to be and become.”

“But remember, if you are encountering a problem or frustration that you don’t understand, a problem or frustration on any scale, in any sphere of your life, be it in your family, your workplace, your community, or anywhere else, and you can’t see around the problem, it is because there is a story you don’t understand. A story that is driving someone.”

“This is the fruit of mere self-awareness, this deeply absurd state of treasuring our trauma and forming social groups around it.  While it’s beautiful, most of us agree it is highly limiting and keeps us in old patterns.  And yet, this is where Sagan and Watts finish their story.  Self-awareness, the domain of Narrative Trauma.

How do we transcend Narrative Trauma?  Why, by transcending self-awareness, of course.  And to do this we must become aware of self-awareness itself, for it is from this privileged vantage point that we see the mechanism of Narrative Trauma which has yielded the social divisions which currently fracture our species.”