My BIGGEST Pet Peeve…😡
My BIGGEST Pet Peeve…😡
or
The “Bartok Problem”
If there’s one thing that drives me crazy, one major pet peeve that I experience, and one gigantic problem I would solve for humans in all times and places, it is what I call the “Bartok Problem”.
Let me explain, because I guarantee that you have at least some awareness of this problem yourself.
Bela Bartok (1881-1945) was a composer. He is with little question the most important classical composer to come out of the nation of Hungary (Franz Liszt is probably a close second). As a musician Bartok synthesized European classical music and the 20th century avant-garde with Hungarian folk song in a highly inventive way that is still respected by musicians today. As of this writing his music is performed by both professionals and students.
That’s by way of a little background. Look him up on YouTube or your favorite music app if you’re curious about what his music sounds like.
Bartok was also a fabulous and accomplished pianist, as many great classical composers are and have been.
And, he also taught piano, as many musicians do, myself included (not so much anymore, but I have - it’s a skill many of us can fall back on if times get tough…not that I expect they will!)
Once, while I was getting my master’s degree in music composition, I was conversing with a few other graduate students about music, composing, teaching, etc. and one of them said “Bartok was a terrible piano teacher because playing the instrument came so naturally and easily for him. Therefore he never had to develop a true theory of pedagogy, to help students get from point A to point B. It was easy for him, so he expected it to be easy for his students as well given his own experience, and he couldn’t figure out how to teach them when it didn’t.”
I’m paraphrasing that, and it may be apocryphal. Even if it’s not true, or not entirely true, it doesn’t matter. This is a major problem I see among many people who try to teach skills and mindsets to others, and the fact is that’s most of us, at least from time to time.
You can call it The “Bartok Problem”. You can also call it the “just” or the “simply” problem. I’ll explain this in a few moments. But I think about this Bartok anecdote often. Because it’s a pattern I see frequently, and it always annoys, aggravates, and frustrates me.
People find they are good at something, or they may have worked hard to become good at something (even talented people need to work hard), and then they think they can teach it, but teaching it is a different ball game that requires a much different kind of thinking, analysis, and understanding of people.
I have seen this my entire life. Parents do it. Mentors do it. College professors do it. Friends do it. Business coaches do it. They advise their advisees to do things that come easily to them without realizing that they have innate talents and aptitudes that those in their care may not.
Do you know how to spot an inborn gift or aptitude? Here’s the secret. Listen for “just” or “simply”. When anyone begins a sentence with “You just…” or “You simply…”, I can almost guarantee that what follows will be a description of some kind of activity or sensibility that comes easily to them. It’s particularly pernicious and grating when it has the feeling of a humblebrag, which starts with “Well, you just…”
Start listening for it and I guarantee you will hear this evidence of low self-awareness all around you. I am convinced that it is responsible for a great deal of misery and self-doubt quietly experienced by so very many of us.
And I was probably guilty of doing this much more myself it at one point in my life. I may still be, but it’s a cognitive bias I have been particularly intentional to eliminate from my outlook and communication. Nobody’s perfect though.
But, do you know what helped me make peace with this and approach life more constructively? It was understanding personality type, which I first really started to do in my mid-30s. The premise of personality type is that different people have widely divergent cognitive tendencies and aptitudes and, therefore (I would say), we simply can’t expect the same results from different people, but that everyone has certain “zones of genius” that can be discerned and developed.
And yes, sometimes we must leave our comfort zones and develop skills we don’t like. But awareness of The “Bartok Problem” completely transforms the nature and feeling of the educational process that we put around this.
I truly think this will change the world.
How about you? Do you see the “Bartok Problem” around you? Do you hear people unintentionally say “You just…” and “All you need to do is…” Are you guilty of doing it yourself? What are some ways you have found to mitigate this while still helping the people you influence to engage in the personal development work they need to get where they’re going?
Also, have you found any of the gifts, skills, or aptitudes that you just have? I’m pretty good at helping people find them. Let’s chat about it.
One more note - I offer all this with love. If you feel that I am speaking to you, perhaps I am, but not you specifically, because I hear many, many people do this. Increase your awareness, reform your thinking and communication, and I guarantee your results will improve. That’s true in all manner of things.
If you want to hear me talk more about related issues, try this podcast episode…
...or this one…
