The Comfort Zone of Contradiction
ChatGPT Summary:
The article discusses the concept that growth and personal development occur outside one's comfort zone. The author emphasizes that facing contradictions is a key reason for the discomfort associated with stepping out of the comfort zone. Contradictions arise in three primary classes: Real vs. Envisioned, The voyage of the (SELF), and Closing the strategic loop.
Real vs. Envisioned: Humans constantly compare what is real with what they desire. The discomfort in the comfort zone arises from the dissatisfaction and frustration of this contradiction. Growth requires making envisioned goals real, creating a perpetual cycle of envisioning and revision.
The voyage of the (SELF): Personal growth necessitates becoming a new version of oneself. This involves facing the contradiction between the current self and the envisioned self. Transforming relationships with others becomes essential, leading to a dramatic and uncomfortable process.
Closing the strategic loop: Growth is described as a strategic process involving translating purpose into effective actions. The author emphasizes the need to address contradictions in strategic plans, acknowledging that this is a dynamic and imperfect process. The author suggests that reconciling major strategic contradictions increases the probability of success.
The article concludes by asserting that growth is uncomfortable due to the inherent human distaste for contradiction, which permeates the entire process of life. The author encourages individuals to expect and embrace discomfort, especially in reconciling strategic, communicative, and relational contradictions between current and envisioned selves.
The Comfort Zone of Contradictions
“All growth happens outside of our comfort zone”
You’ve heard that before, haven’t you? Anytime we want to become more, do more, achieve more, step into a grander vision of what could be, grow in any way, we must leave our zone of comfort and stability.
I agree with this. I see this pattern in myself and others. Why is this? Why is this always so? Why must this be true?
There’s one very clear reason, and it is this: the moment we step out of our comfort zone we are faced with contradictions.
And contradiction is probably the most uncomfortable metaphysical state that exists: the tension between 2 premises that cannot both be. Incredibly uncomfortable. The analysis they provoke is uncomfortable. Formulating a strategy to reconcile them is uncomfortable. And the process of this reconciliation is uncomfortable.
But it’s an inevitable part of that growth process, of stepping out into who we feel we are meant to be. We see glimmers of the promised land and begin to walk toward it. Contradictions are what we face along the way.
There are 3 primary classes of contradiction with which we are faced over the course of leaving our comfort zones. They are:
Real vs. Envisioned
The voyage of the (SELF)
Closing the strategic loop
Each is significant and important to understand.
Real vs. Envisioned - We humans are perpetually animated by our comparison of what is real against what we desire. What we desire is, by definition, not real. Our metaphysical work is to make the envisioned real, and once we do that, to revise (as in see a new vision) and repeat. This means that even our “comfort zone” is plagued with dissatisfaction and frustration. Otherwise, we would have no vision or ongoing work. This reveals, fundamentally, that even our comfort zones are riven with the discomfort of contradiction! Therefore it is inescapable, and so we might as well embark on the journey of growth lest we perpetually stew in the stasis of what is and become demoralized by our lack of progress.
The voyage of the (SELF) - When we seek to grow, we must by definition become a new version of our (SELF). If we already were that version of our (SELF), we would have already arrived at the new vision. When we discern our vision we clearly behold the contradiction between our current self and the new self we must become, and enact the transformation from the former to the latter. Since there is no (SELF) (all behavior and interpretation happens interpersonally) we run headlong into the current state of our relationships with all other people and must intentionally refashion them by changing how we communicate on every level. This is always a dramatic and uncomfortable process. But human growth is a gradual process, and so we must endure and lean into this discomfort.
Closing the strategic loop - Growth is always a STRATEGIC process. A STRATEGY is a rational framework by which we translate the vision of PURPOSE into a sequence of effective ACTIONs. It is an intensely thinking-oriented process and, therefore, subject to the laws of logic, the most fundamental of which is the Law of noncontradiction, an observed argumentative truth that goes back to the earliest of the ancient Greek philosophers. As we arrange our STRATEGIC pieces and consider how they work together in execution, we will observe numerous contradictions that threaten the integrity of our systems. These must, as much as possible, be reconciled and satisfied in order to execute our STRATEGIES of growth effectively. I grant that this is a perpetually dynamic and imperfect process, but inspecting our STRATEGIC plans for self-defeating contradictions is a crucial step, and one that I constantly honor in my consultations with leaders. All human ACTION is inherently imperfect (in motivation, result, etc.), but our probability of success is higher when we (as much as possible) reconcile major STRATEGIC contradictions, and this process is challenging and uncomfortable.
People can grow. We can build and flourish. And it’s always uncomfortable due to our inherent distaste for contradiction, which is pervasive throughout the growth process (and all LIFE actually!). It is best to expect it and lean into this discomfort, for all growth is found on the other side. And remember, even stasis is uncomfortable due to our human tendency toward comparing what is real to what is envisioned, at each and every moment. And this is actually what makes human LIFE deeply uncomfortable. But, since we’re going to be uncomfortable anyway, we might as well step into the productive discomfort of reconciling the STRATEGIC, communicative, and relational contradictions between our current and envisioned (SELVES).
Let me know if you would like some help with this process: https://calendly.com/aaronjmarx/30min