How are you NUMBING yourself?
Not long ago I had a realization about human existence. It’s uncomfortable. Do you notice this too? Weird, right?
We don’t like to talk about it. It’s actually kind of taboo - the pervading social attitude around this is a perverse stoicism. And I think this is closely related to the very concept of mental health, a concept I am beginning to question. And I wonder if we’re entering some kind of golden age of existential awareness, a collective acknowledgement that existence is unhealthy but paradoxically worth sharing with the next generation.
If existence is uncomfortable and you ARE mentally healthy, isn’t that contradictory? This leads me to question a few things. First, I question whether anyone IS mentally healthy. Second, I question whether it would be healthy to be mentally healthy. Third, I question whether it’s even POSSIBLE to be mentally healthy. It just doesn’t add up to me. Existence is uncomfortable, so mental health is actually an absurd idea. What if we started there? What would that open up?
I’ll tell you some of the realizations it opens up for me, and it’s intimately connected to your role as a creative, entrepreneurial leader.
We exist
We do so in the present moment. It’s really all we ever have. We’re driven by our interpretation of the past and also what we sense to be possible in the future.
Often we don’t like the future that we see coming. (BTW, the future doesn’t exist yet. So how do we see it? What are we seeing exactly? From where is this sense of the future projected? How do we change this projection?)
When we don’t like this projection we despair (“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation”).
When we despair we seek to numb ourselves.
So, how about you? Do you like the future you are projecting? Do you even realize that you are projecting one and responding to it?
There’s a lot of ways to not like the future, and some of them are deeply paradoxical. We may feel like failures. Or we may not like the way that we are successful. This is ironic, because it is likely some level of success we once craved. Or we may realize that no success will bring us the happiness and fulfillment we ultimately seek because the human condition is imperfectible.
If any of these are true, you are likely numbing yourself in response. We numb ourselves in many ways. Here’s a few:
Drugs and alcohol
Food
Sexual release
Mindless digital entertainment
Procrastination
Sleep/depression/apathy
Nihilism/cynicism/belligerence/hostility/defensiveness
Ceaseless activity
That last one is interesting. Sometimes when people have existential despair they are motivated to act ceaselessly. As long as they are moving they don’t need to be in the present moment and face the projection of the unwanted future. The activity may not be creating anything, but it serves as a distraction.
So, what are we to do?
Deep down you have the capacity to change your projection. But it takes some deep work, and will require you to realize when you are in fact numbing yourself. I talked to someone yesterday who realized that they were not allowing themselves to get in touch with that desirable projection, and that caused them to numb in a sort of resignation (aka low-grade despair). After hearing me speak they woke up to a life of creation and ambition.
So, how are you numbing? What are you avoiding? Numbing is always about avoidance.
You exist. For a purpose.
The pain doesn’t go away, but your job is to be present so that you can step into the projection of a better future, full of BETTER pain that you truly allow yourself to feel to keep the cycle going. Your purpose is what creates the new and better projection, with high impact actions in every moment.
One of my favorite expressions of this:
Life is pain, and I’m also selling something 😉😄