“I feel less alone”
Earlier this week a client told me something on a call. He is at a turning point in his business, and working very hard to bring it to the next level. Working tirelessly in fact. The major challenge is creating the correct agreements with key people in his life to facilitate the clean, uninhibited flow of energy to execute what needs to be done at the rate that it needs to be done with the ease that it needs to be done at the right level of authenticity.
And he feels like he’s the only one who can see it. Granted everyone else in his life would be happy to have the results of success here. But only he can see the pieces as they need to be moved on the chessboard. This means that he is going through his life, seeing things at a higher level of awareness, and trying very hard to act a certain way, but feeling thwarted by others at many turns.
And when he talks to me there’s a sort of peacefulness that comes from having someone to relate to about that. He tells me that he feels less alone when he talks to me, and that’s perhaps the most important part of our dynamic.
Can you relate to that?
It’s a pattern I see in others as well.
First of all, I think human life has an alienating quality. It’s what the Existentialists discerned about 100 years ago. We’re all going through our lives, highly dissatisfied in many ways, with the unceasing friction of merely existing in space and time gnawing away at our souls just a little in each moment. And we’re all doing this together, never quite sure if others are having the same experience of alienation and spiritual fatigue. Part of the power of the Existentialists was creating a body of literature that spoke to this condition, and in doing so easing the very condition itself by helping us all relate to one another more.
But for creative leaders it goes a step further. We experience not only that perpetual friction of existence, but also the perpetual vision of what could be. It’s a benevolent vision, usually involving some thriving organization that provides benevolent service while taking care of its people, with close ties to all the communities it touches. And such things are never built easily. That’s the friction of leadership. And it’s alienating too, because such leaders are rare. But if you’re one of them, you know.
No one besides a creative, visionary leader knows the struggle of creating such a vision, with the vulnerability, the tradeoffs, the sacrifice, the tough choices, the seemingly unwinnable nature of reality. And it’s alienating. And you feel alone.
And feeling alone is the worst feeling. I don’t know why, but it is. If you can endure that, you are truly a super powerful being. As Aristotle once said, “Anyone who can live apart from society is either a beast or a god.”
But you don’t have to endure it alone. Because I get it. I understand what it’s like, and I speak to it. And that’s why my conversations are so rejuvenating and inspiring.
You’re not alone. It only feels that way sometimes. Because human existence is alienating. And leadership is doubly alienating.
I get it. I know what it’s like. I see you and hear you. And I have the conversation you’ve been waiting for.
https://calendly.com/aaronjmarx/30min