Why failure is selfish AND selfless, just like success

I’m a big Myers-Briggs head, but perhaps not in the way you might expect.  MBTI is often criticized as unscientific, invalid, unrepeatable, etc.  For years I refused to believe it.  But then I found an amazing firm that uses Myers-Briggs as a foundation for a system that is much deeper and more insightful.  They took the criticisms to heart and in the process of addressing them expanded it to a spectrum of not 16 types, but…512 types!  Crazy right?  But BOY do these people know people.  And I know people better from following them.  DM me if you want to know more about it.

This expanded system allows them to study, observe, and understand people, their instincts, and unconscious tendencies on a level I rarely see.  On a good day I can perhaps get close, but I know I’ll never meet their standard.  Still, the level of insight it provides is truly priceless.

Here’s a big insight.  Ready for this?  Be warned, the truth hurts.

Everyone has one of two tendencies.  It’s to be self-oriented, or others-oriented.  You are one or the other.  Yes, you.

Self-oriented people are constantly preoccupied with what they want and like.  They don’t think about what other people want and like enough.  “I like it, so we’re doing it that way.”  “No, I want to do it this way.”

Others-oriented people can’t STOP thinking about what others want and like, and they don’t like thinking about what THEY want and like.  “Don’t like this?  No problem.  Change it.”  “Not working for you?  Awesome, change it.”

Who do you think makes more money?

The answer…neither!  They find plenty of successful people with both tendencies.

Are you surprised?

Here’s how to understand this.

Either is an imbalance, and success is found in the balance.

Success is ALWAYS some form of finding the goodness in you, sharing it with others, and being compensated for it.  In all times and all places.

So, where do we go wrong?  Either by being too selfish OR too selfless.

If you’re too self-oriented you will constantly be building something that you like but no one else does.

If you’re too others-oriented you will constantly be asking others what they want, but not ensuring that it comes from a place of authenticity.

A successful brand must honor both of these needs.

Simply put, why should people care, and why are you the one to do it?

Self.  Others.  That’s the whole game.  Because we’re here to be ourselves for others.

So, FAILURE is both selfless and selfish.  You’re either trying to please everyone, or only please yourself.

And SUCCESS is both selfless and selfish.  You bring value to others in the ways that only you can.

So make sure you are being selfless AND selfish, but in the right ways!