2 decades of mentorship in 3 questions

100% of the advice from the best mentors and coaches in my life can be distilled into the following 3 questions…

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1️⃣ Do you KNOW what you want?
2️⃣ WHAT is it?
3️⃣ Do you REALLY?

Here’s what all that means…

1️⃣ Do you KNOW what you want?

The fact is, it is MUCH more common for people to know what they DON’T want.

EVERYONE knows what they don’t want, which is why people complain so much.

But how often do you hear vision, goals, or aspirations?

These are RARE and VALUABLE.

So, how about you? Do you know what you DO want? Or only what you DON’T?

It makes a huge difference.

Knowing what you DON’T want will have you constantly running in different directions to avoid all of it.

Knowing what you DO will have you moving steadily in one direction, and that’s a MUCH different kind of life.


2️⃣ WHAT is it?

To make this change, you need to get clear on WHAT you want.

Otherwise your sense of direction won’t be clear enough and you’ll get sucked back into fixating on what you DON’T want again.

So, once you resolve to move toward what you DO want, you will need to take some time to get very clear about what it is.

Have you done that? It’s a process. It takes time and MUCH personal discernment.

Since it’s so much more common to know what you DON’T want, getting clear on what you DO may be a muscle you are not used to flexing until now.

But, like all other muscles, it can be developed and strengthened.

So don’t be afraid to get in the vision gym and start doing those reps!!!


3️⃣ Do you REALLY?

One of the most insightful mentors I’ve ever had described our collective tendency to express our desires consciously but sabotage them with our (in)actions. He called this “D1/D2”.

D1 is the consciously expressed desire, and D2 is the subconscious, interfering desire to STAY SMALL and STAY PUT.

So, how about you? Do you have conflicting desires? If so, you can work through it! You just need to be honest about what you really want.

This wise and clever framework caused me to reevaluate my goals, and I am much happier today pursuing things I know I actually want, and aligning my actions to this end.

So, what do you think? Do you see yourself in this pattern? Every mentor who has made a significant impact on my thinking taught me some version of that process. And this is what I now teach as well. Do you need help getting started, working through it, moving between steps? It’s what I’m here for ☺️