3️⃣ steps 🪜 to changing your life 🗻

3️⃣ steps 🪜 to changing your life 🗻

I work with many people who are on the cusp of something greater.  That seems to be a particular season of life when clients tend to find me and become attracted to my message.  Sometimes you’re called to something bigger, greater, grander.  In business, in career, in life.  You can feel it.  The call to expansion.  A couple years from now you will be able to look back and realize how much your life has improved, how your wealth, status, freedom, and influence have grown.

It’s a remarkable time for you.  Overwhelming.  Exciting.  Stimulating.  Demanding.  Requiring new levels of focus, intention, energy, commitment.  It’s super cool.  I love the energy of such people at such a time.  They are primed and ready, waiting for just the right combination of strategy and pep talk from just the right person to shift their thinking, clarify their vision, strengthen their resolve.  And then they’re off and running, having hard conversations, building new habits, carefully putting the pieces in place that allow them to jump to the next level.

I do this work with people in all professions, industries, organizational shapes and sizes.  And the pattern is always the same.  It comes down to these 3 steps:

1️⃣ BE better

2️⃣ DO better

3️⃣ SHARE better

That’s it.  Easy!  Just kidding.  Not easy, but definitely simple.  It’s a marvelous transformation. And yes, it comes down to those three steps, always in that order.  And every major episode of growth does.  Here’s what each step means.

1️⃣ BE better

My clients know that I love to get philosophical, but they also know it tends to be helpful for them 🙂 so here’s a bit of philosophy.  There’s a branch of metaphysics (the study of existence and reality) called ontology.  It’s from the Greek root “onto-” which means to be.  So, ontology is the study of being, or what it means to be.  What is at the heart of your being?  When you tap into your deepest source of strength, what do you find there, and by what is it grounded?  Incidentally, the Latin version of “onto-” is “esse”, which is where we get the word essence.  So, to me, the ontology of coaching is the study of your personal essence.  It’s that animating principle and all the strengths that come with it, which are different for everyone.  The first step is clearly perceiving your essence, communing with it, developing it, speaking to it so that it will speak to and through you as you take sequential actions along your leadership journey.  This is what is often known as the “inside” work, or the process of “alignment”.  It’s not visible from the outside at first, but without it nothing on the outside will change reliably or sustainably.  So, the first step is to simply BE better.

2️⃣ DO better

The process of becoming better connects us with our essence, which shows us more clearly who we are and what we want.  What we want is always on the other side of new skills.  Had we developed these skills already we would have what we want.  The internal alignment process makes skill development and acquisition more fun, effortless, and pressing.  We suddenly see how to improve ourselves and find the process stimulating, and so we are motivated to develop new skills.  As our skills improve our work improves, and our results improve in turn.  As our results improve our lives and careers improve, automatically, simply because we touch so many other people socially and they can’t help but to notice and reciprocate the improvement back to you.  It’s always really fun to see this happen because it shows you that all the investments you have been making will pay off and that your next level is approaching.

Related note: everyone is taking actions all the time.  We can’t stop taking actions in fact.  That was a particularly striking realization that I had a couple years ago and served to unlock my entire way of thinking.  You can learn about that insight and all that flowed from it in my new book and online course The Complete Science of Human Dynamics.  It changed everything.  After we spend time on this internal alignment process, becoming better, we can create a strategy to structure more effective actions that create better results.  That’s DOing better.

3️⃣ SHARE better

What should you do after you get better, and even as you’re getting better?  You have to tell others what you’re up to.  All growth happens through the investment and support of other people, so you need to attract other people to your cause by sharing what you’re doing.  People will support you in various ways.  They will become clients, team members, community partners, and more.  And it all only happens when they put their attention on you.  We call these kinds of efforts “marketing”, “messaging”, “networking”, etc.  And the conversations that result, in which we discuss the shape of transactions and exchanges, are “sales”.  All conversations about what you do and how to support you are sales conversations; some of them just go further than others and result in a reciprocation of value.

And there you have it.

BE

DO

SHARE

Those are the steps to growth, always and forever.  Whenever you wish to improve anything it’s always about those three steps.  BE better, DO better, SHARE better.  Nothing more, nothing less.  That’s how you get to the next level that this very exciting season of life is showing you.  Need help getting started?  It just happens to be my specialty.  Talk to you soon!

https://calendly.com/aaronjmarx/30min