A word I don’t like

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This article discusses a conversation between the author, a philosopher, and his entrepreneur friend. They bond over their shared interest in abstract and meaningful conversations about the essence of human existence and the ontological basis of concepts like culture, communication, success, and achievement.

The friend expresses his dislike for a certain business/professional word because it often leads to superficial interactions focused solely on transactions.

The author shares a similar sentiment about a different business/professional word that is often used to avoid true problem solving.

Ultimately the two words are closely related, and they apply to all people in all times and all places.  Read the article to learn more about those words, how they relate to each other, and how they are relevant to your journey of leadership and creation.

About a week ago I had coffee with a good friend of mine and it was really nice.  He is a fellow entrepreneur, and I know he will make a damn fine coach/consultant someday, after he works through a few projects currently on his plate.  This month promises to open up a new level of intensity for both him and me, and we bonded over that.

I know he will make a great consultant and coach someday because whenever we’re together we very easily and organically find a zone of abstract and resonant conversation that delights in deconstructing the spiritual components of life that we commonly refer to with words like “culture”, “relationship”, “communication”, “success”, “achievement”, and the like.  He and I have a shared sense of the ontological basis for all of these, and the essence of being human really.

Sorry for that $2 word (perhaps that expression needs to be adjusted for inflation…🤔).  I am a philosopher after all.  “Ontological” means related to the nature of being, so when I say these qualities and concepts are ontological, it means that they flow from the essence of our being.  True success, then, involves, in a very real sense, investigating the source of all being and applying the conclusions that we find.  That’s what he and I both do, and every now and then we meet to compare notes, which is really fun.

This mindset also allows us to see how certain words in the business and professional world to calcify into jargon, thus obscuring their ontological essence, and we both offered examples of this.

He told me that he does not like the word “networking”.  He finds networking events distasteful because he feels like the people he usually meets there are instinctively trying to find the shortest route to a transaction.  He said he much prefers to think of networking as “relationship building”.  Our life is about starting and building relationships, and all commerce is a result of this.

I think that’s awesome.  And you can really tell that this sensibility shapes his core values and approach to entrepreneurship at its source of origin.  He has an almost child-like sincerity about it, in the best way.


I responded that I, too, have a word like that.  A business jargon word that obscures the often simple and direct inner source of its being, and that word is “marketing”.


For a few years I called myself a marketing professional.  And I was a good one.  I really helped organizations to grow and thrive in this capacity.  But eventually I noticed some things that caused me to reconsider this positioning.  I noticed that relegating my work to marketing allowed my clients to avoid exploring issues that were actually much more relevant to their problems.  Marketing is a great solution to certain problems, but not most actually.  And that means that chances are good your problem is not about marketing.  So, I would have these rich, wide-ranging conversations with leaders that took stock of their whole lives and mindsets, and the meeting would end with them asking what content I would create for the week.  And I realized I was in the wrong position, so I made a change.

And so I don’t like the word marketing.  I don’t use it very often.  It gives people the wrong idea.  The word I use instead is COMMUNICATION.  Communication is simply the act of sharing meaning with someone else with the intend of building a relationship.  And if you share the right meaning with the right people, your life will improve, along with the lives of everyone else you influence.  I’ve never seen an exception to this.

Marketing is a form of communication.  But sometimes it’s the communication you need to have with a spouse, a business partner, a parent, a political leader, a board member, a team member, etc. that is your best next step to productively shape the energy in your life.  And if you get good at this, the marketing becomes a lot more clear and effortless when it’s time to do that.

Ultimately I noted a deep agreement with my friend.  We both have the same values at the end of the day.  Because life is about building relationships.  And the tool with which we do this is communication.  And that’s all life really is.

Relationships 🔄 Communication

Remember these inspiring conversations that I am privileged to have with my friend.  Watch your language, and observe your tendency to obscure meaning with jargon so that you can avoid the essence of true communication and relationship building.  We all do it.  And jargon is here for a good reason, but don’t forget the reason we do everything, which is to improve the human condition so that we can create and share more meaning with those we love and care about. 

THAT…is the ontological essence of being human, in all times and places.

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