Existence is the problem
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“What is life but an unpleasant interruption to a peaceful nonexistence.”
― Sartre
“[Death is] very restful. There’s no phone calls.”
― Travis Dane, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory
“If only the strawberries had been poisoned all our problems would have been solved.”
-Lt. Thomas Keefer, The Caine Mutiny
So, we all have this pesky problem. All of us. I know we do because it’s one of the few things we have in common.
The problem is existence. Seriously, it’s a problem, and it's a serious one.
Think of that Sartre quote above. You once didn’t exist. In fact, you didn’t exist for most of existence. Wasn’t that nice?
Well, you don’t know. You can’t know. Because you must exist to experience anything. So you had this blissful nonexistence that you couldn’t appreciate. I think that right there is the cruelest twist in the entire universe.
At any rate, now you exist. And you experience it. I know you do, because you are reading this, and that wouldn’t be possible without some sense of experience.
And once you begin that experience you have a problem. Because along with that experience comes choices. You can’t escape this fact. It’s the human condition. Animals make choices too, but we humans suspect that we hold a greater awareness and contemplative intensity around these choices, which is why we have fields like history, psychology, philosophy, political science, economics, etc. to help us continue to make better ones.
So, let’s look at this choice. You’re choosing to continue to read this. You must think it’s the best possible way to spend this time, because otherwise you’d make a different choice. And I appreciate that! It means a lot to me.
But let’s get back to you. As long as you are reading this you are able to avoid your next choice. How long will this last? How much longer will I give you to stay here and avoid the next choice? Will you take me up on it? Will you read to the end?
Every container we put around something is a way to deal with the anxiety of unbounded choice. Every building you enter, curriculum you start, event you participate in, helps you to structure a few more of your moments so you don’t have to make choices again for a little while. We’re all helping each other with that existential burden.
But eventually you’ll finish reading this. And you’ll need to figure out what to do next.
You could sit and contemplate the essay. I bet a few of you will do that. You could also reread it, or go back and skim some of the parts you remember. I bet a few of you will do that too.
But then what?
You know what’s coming, right? It’s your next action. It’s an existential burden. Because it will be the result of a choice, whether you wish to make it or not. Inevitably you will make some kind of choice, and then you’ll be off, taking whatever action results from an intense and, largely, subconscious process of calculation.
How will you make this choice? What factors will you consider? What outcomes will you seek? Will it be about your career? Your property? Your family? A volunteer organization? A political jurisdiction?
There’s an answer to that question because time doesn’t stop, and you can’t stay where you are. Society is created by many people moving through time and space, navigating a life they didn’t ask for.
That’s the problem of existence.
And you can despair about it. I do sometimes.
Despair is a rational and reasonable response to any problem. Because who would ever ask for problems, let alone the primary problem of existence?! Not me, and not you.
Or would we…?
Problems tend to make life more interesting, don’t they? We tend to fill our free time with stories of other people’s problems. And we really like solving them. It feels good when we do.
So maybe having problems isn’t so big of a problem…
I once heard a sociologist say “Our careers are made of the emergencies of others.”
It means that we have meaningful work because other people struggle with things. And we struggle with things, which means that other people have work as they serve us.
That’s commerce. This big dance of interrelation as we flow from here to there, solving new problems.
And it’s all because we exist. That’s the primary problem. Without existence there would be no other problems.
At one point humans did not exist. Animals don’t have problems. Well, they have what we would perhaps term “struggles” or “challenges”, but I think the notion of problem is a human one. I don’t think animals conceive of existence that way. They just do what they do instinctually. If you examine the behavior of a specific animal and then revisit the same animal 5 years later, it’s not going to feel that different.
But humans hold a sense of what could be and we measure all that is against that. A problem is simply a disparity between the real and the ideal that we feel compelled to bridge through a solution.
And it’s going on all the time, isn’t it? Existence feels bad because of it, this constant and endless disparity between what is and what could be.
And existence is a problem. So, what are we comparing it to?
Is it non-existence, in which we all participated (for lack of a better way to say it) before birth, and before the first humans? Or is it some kind of existential culmination, a different mode of existence that we might term “heaven”, or “paradise”, or “nirvana” (although the last one is more like non-existence), or a term I like, “completion”?
I don’t know. That’s above my paygrade.
But we’re comparing existence to something like that.
So, yes, existence is a problem.
It’s one that you and I must deal with.
By the way, we’re getting to the end. You’ll need to make a choice soon.
Will you re-read this? That would solve your problem of existence for a little while.
Will you skim it? That would solve your problem of existence for a little less while.
Will you sit with it?
Will you plan your next move?
Or do you know pretty well what you will do next?
Either way, the problem will never cease, for as long as you live. And the greater problem will never cease as long as humans live. We’re all in this together, solving it as best we can, through our different worldviews.
You’re blessed to be one of the problem solvers. Funny, isn’t it? We can’t solve the problems from outside of existence, only from inside. And we can’t enter without taking the burden of the problem onto ourselves, and actually taking our part in co-creating the problem.
Other people can be so frustrating, can’t they? Those different perspectives, different personalities, different evaluations of the best way to live, all jostling together. If they would just be more rational everything would be easy, right?
Or would it? Is this not somehow part of the problem and the solution, these differences between and among us? Is difference, itself, then not fundamental to this problem we are identifying?
Your existence is a problem; other peoples’ existence is a problem for them, and for you. We keep meeting one another, creating problems together, solving them together too. All because we exist without consent.
When we have children we are consigning them to the same existential burden, and teaching them to solve the problems we have given them, even as they co-create the problem with us. Remember this as you guide and nurture the next generation.
Everyone proceeds each day, causing some problems, working to solve others. We need problems and solutions, unless we don’t exist.
But as long as we do exist, we’ll never run out of problems. Existence is the deepest problem, and creates all the others.
We’re almost done.
Here’s the end of the post.
I’m releasing you.
I’ve held you here long enough, distracting and, hopefully, illuminating you.
Time to part ways, for a little while at least.
Back to solving our problems.
The problem of existence. All other problems grow from that basic foundation.
No existence, no problem. And no other problems.
Here’s the end. What’s next for you? Have you figured out exactly which problem you will work on next? I believe you’ll make a good choice. A choice full of light, graciousness, love, and compassion for all others who face the same problem as you, this problem of existence, a problem that contains its own solutions, some of which you will bring.
Only you can bring your distinctive personalized solutions, and many people are waiting for them, though they may not, and likely don’t, yet realize it.
Okay, enough.
Go to it.
And have a good one.
Until we meet again.
Yours truly,
-Aaron
By the way, if you're unsure how to solve your particular problem of existence, you might enjoy my book and online course The Complete Science of Human Dynamics, available here.
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