Have you found your “authentic self”?
“Authenticity” is a popular word these days. I’m sure you’ve heard it somewhere in reference to business, growth mindset, and your relationship with other people.
The concept seems to promise a frictionless existence as you navigate the world and build what you truly want, attracting the people you truly want, who give you the style of interaction you truly want.
Do you believe in it? Do you believe it’s possible?
I do. And judging by the response I’ve been getting lately to all of the above, I am succeeding at growing in this way, becoming my “more authentic self”. My clients are too, which is fabulous.
And it’s actually funny that those are the words we often use…become “more of who you were meant to be.” Or, if you’re religious, you might say become “more of who God created you to be.” Ultimately I think it’s the same idea. Why would you need to figure out how to become more of what you already are? Nothing else is like that.
We humans have an odd condition - we need to figure out who we are, what we’re here to do, and then become more and more of that. And then we resonate more fully on numerous levels. And that allows us continue the process, achieving greater levels of authenticity.
And I notice that authenticity is more challenging, complicated, counterintuitive, and even contradictory, than most people realize.
Some of the ways…
Authenticity is NOT the same as happiness, nor are they mutually exclusive. You will still struggle, and the most authentic people always have more work to do. But time never stops, so we all do anyway. There is always more work to do, because life is imperceptible, and becoming more and more authentic simply shows you different, and more resonant, ways to work and create.
Authenticity does NOT make life easier. Clarity is not the same as ease. Sometimes it gets harder. But authenticity makes doing harder work more graceful somehow. Stepping into greater authenticity gives you greater persistence, resolve, and strength. But there will still be times when you don’t feel like doing what you need to do.
There is often great fear and reticence to step into what you truly sense your authentic (SELF) to be, how to live that way, how to communicate that way, how to be that way, how to influence that way. This transition is a point of great vulnerability, sensitivity, and uncertainty.
And here’s the kicker. This one is really counterintuitive. Authenticity is NOT ultimately about you. It’s constantly created in relationship with other people, where your (SELF) meets your other spheres of influence. And, while you need to be persistent, the feedback of other people somehow validates your move toward authenticity, even though, per point #2, your life does not necessarily get easier. There is a different glow, a different resonance to their responses.
Because of all this, authenticity takes a while to discern. Sometimes you’re too young, and you haven’t learned enough, met enough people, or discovered enough of what’s out there to see you how you fit.
Also, it never ends. Since it’s not a destination, but rather an IDEAL to strive for, your authentic (SELF) is always glimpsed just over the horizon. But we can get closer, and the feeling of doing so is unmistakable.
I hope you are thinking differently, and more clearly about authenticity. It’s a popular concept, and critically important. And it’s what I want for you.
But it’s also challenging, complicated, counterintuitive, and even contradictory.
It’s also something I know well. And I can help you figure it out.