“You guys are PERFECT for each other.”

“You guys are PERFECT for each other.”

Have I ever told you about my wife, Heidi?

Here’s a little story about us.

Yesterday, I think, we were kibitzing about some issue nestled at the intersection of politics, religion, sociology and economics, as we do.

And seriously, that’s what we do.  We are both fond of telling the story from our second date.  We were driving together from Stevens Point to Madison to hit a comedy club with another couple of friends and spent the entire drive energetically debating the nature, and existence, of Absolute Truth.  The miles melted away and suddenly we were there.

And we haven’t really ever stopped.

Yesterday, my youngest son, Arthur (you can hear him on my podcast episodes 8 & 17) looked at us and said “You guys are PERFECT for each other.”

I was stunned speechless by this sweetness.  And he’s right.  I think.  Can’t be sure.  And this gets into theories about soulmates and whatnot.  I don’t know that I really have an opinion about that kind of thing.

But it doesn’t really matter.

What matters is the security, strength, and vision that Arthur feels from the stability and unconditional investment of our marriage.

Is our marriage perfect?  No.  But, is any?  Is anything in the realm of humanity perfect?  I have a whole, all-encompassing, comprehensive philosophical concept about the very imperfectability of human life and how somehow, paradoxically, it’s actually better for us never to find perfection.

So a marriage can never be perfect.

And the fact is that we have gone through hard times.  We have both had to work on ourselves and each other.  And when we did, somehow, the right resources crossed our desks and showed up at our door.  And we’ve been intentionally building and honoring one another ever since, endlessly and perpetually.

And Arthur sees it, which is the most important thing and ultimately what shows us that we’re doing the right things.

I describe human life as a set of embedded, interlocking social spheres.  Family is just one of them, but perhaps the most important.  I tell my clients with good marriages that it is a crucially important and stabilizing energetic asset that liberates massive and secure growth in all other areas of your life.  Your entire existence is a set of relationships, always and forever.  And all relationships are improved through the same tools, which we call trust, empathy, communication, vision, and culture.

From which deep metaphysical source do these tools flow?  How do we know when we are discerning their true and authentic nature?  What are we humans even after in the first place, individually and collectively?  Well, that’s the question I’m really here to answer, and I think it relates to that 2 hour debate to Absolute Truth on the way to Madison.  Nothing less.  Which is why I keep searching, and talking to Heidi to help me sort through and get some clarity around what I find.

That search is imperfectable too, which is actually where it draws its energy, and I’m going to keep searching.  When you do it well, the important people in your life see it, and they are nourished by it.  People like Arthur.

And that’s what I want for you as well.

Grab a time to chat with me if you want to go deeper.