The tripartite goodness of self-doubt, Part 1
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This article, Part 1 of 2, discusses the importance of self-doubt in personal growth and leadership. The author shares a story of a client who is experiencing intense introspection and self-doubt during their journey of personal growth. The author believes that self-doubt is a natural and benevolent feeling that stems from caring deeply about three significant metaphysical factors defining the human condition. The author highlights that hero's journeys, such as those found in inspiring stories and religious narratives, often involve moments of self-doubt, making it a crucial aspect of personal development. The article will continue to explore the three metaphysical factors related to self-doubt in the next part.
The tripartite goodness of self-doubt, Part 1
Do you doubt yourself? Most leaders do. It’s actually a good thing, connected to an essence-deep benevolence. I will explain why, but first a quick story that helped me to recognize this.
Recently I had a session with a client. This client is entering a season of intense introspection and personal growth. Many aspects of their life are revealing the necessity of this journey. And it’s going to be hard work. Even a struggle at times, demanding a level of discomfort and development that many of us instinctively avoid. But we also know that avoiding these challenges for too long keeps us small, limits our impact, creates bigger problems, and generally violates our authentic calling as growth-oriented leaders.
And this client is struggling with self-doubt. Understandably. Honestly, I would worry if they weren’t because, as I said above, self-doubt is a sometimes destructive feeling that, I believe, comes from a deep benevolence, which is always concerned with doing the right thing for as many people as possible.
I told this client that every story worth telling, every hero’s journey worth studying, contains some passage or episode of intense self-doubt. I had recently watched a stupid Schwarzenneger movie from the 80s, which was super fun (my wife disparagingly refers to this kind of film as a “meathead movie”). It was 90 minutes of Ah-nold, in full steroidal glory, blowing shit up and killing guys in extremely brutal ways (sidenote - women aren’t the only ones objectified in our culture - every such action movie objectives men, relegating many an anonymous soldier to the status of “cannon-fodder”, a historically dysfunctional and thoroughly traumatizing power dynamic build deep into the militaristic ideal of masculinity and ancient class stratification - end of postmodernist critique 😄). But you know what it DIDN’T have? Self-doubt. While we may enjoy the blustery confidence of such a hero, we don’t consume such stories to study character development or discover our own path of personal growth. It’s purely self-indulgent, which I suppose is cathartic in its way. But truly nourishing and inspiring stories always find the hero recuperating at times as they face deep, dark personal demons. Always.
The archetypal Christian version of this story is the Agony in the Garden, in which Jesus, feeling abandoned by his disciples, and overwhelmed by the impending agony and humiliation of his crucifixion, pleads with God the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane for the strength to endure the remainder of this journey.
The story of Moses, too, in the Old Testament, shows us a deeply flawed hero who was able to fulfill his calling, even if his transgressions prevented him from enjoying the full fruits of the Promised Land to which he led his people.
Heroism is a struggle. You will doubt. Expect it. Find your favorite stories and draw nourishment from them along the way.
As I said, self-doubt is a benevolent impulse, so don’t forget that. It simply means that you care, specifically that you care about three very important metaphysical factors that perpetually define the human condition at its most fundamental level. When we struggle with self-doubt, it comes down to some combination of those three. What are these three factors? We’ll unpack that next time…😊