The tripartite goodness of self-doubt, Part 2
ChatGPT Summary:
In Part 2, the author delves into the three benevolent impulses behind self-doubt that are rooted in the human spirit/soul/essence. These impulses are:
Ability: Fear of lacking essential skills or traits to succeed, which can jeopardize what has been built so far. This fear stems from caring about the wellbeing of others who rely on the person, including family, business partners, and teams.
Morality: The recognition that leadership involves navigating complicated ethical tradeoffs due to the complexities of human motivations and ethics. This fear arises from the desire to do the right thing and avoid causing suffering or harm to others.
Worthiness: Concerns about personal benefit and abundance that can be obtained through leadership and creation, while acknowledging the unequal distribution of rewards. This fear arises from compassion for those less fortunate and a desire not to abuse one's privilege.
The article emphasizes that experiencing self-doubt is a normal part of personal growth and leadership journeys. It encourages readers to embrace their self-doubt and rationally work through it, reminding them that moments of doubt are inherent in every meaningful story of heroism. The author reaffirms that these impulses behind self-doubt are rooted in deep goodness and should be seen as such.
The tripartite goodness of self-doubt, Part 2
In Part 1 we briefly explored the story of a client of mine who is struggling with self-doubt amidst a period of intense change and personal growth. This is natural, expected, and, I would assert, healthy. All stories that provide any level of serious character development will include episodes of self-doubt somewhere along the way. It is an essential part of growth and transformation.
And I believe that self-doubt is always born of what are highly benevolent sensibilities if we trace them to their psychic and metaphysical source within our spirits/souls/essences/etc. And, as far as I can tell, self-doubt always reduces to just three of these benevolent impulses, all of which imply the fear of some kind of lack. Here are the three things we fear that we lack:
Ability - We fear that we lack essential skills or traits to succeed
Morality - We fear that we must hurt or betray people in the process
Worthiness - We fear that success will bring abundance while others lack
Let’s explore each. Again, I can’t stress highly enough that all of these indicate a deep benevolence on the part of anyone who experiences and struggles with them. This indicates that fear is actually healthy and, itself, benevolent. It’s a highly paradoxical time for humans - we are seeking to shed the fears that brought us to this time of unprecedented abundance, peace and interconnection, while still finding them fascinating, hence our stories.
Ability - All feats of leadership and creation involve taking a chance of some kind, and when we do this we risk the current capital we have built, both financially and socially (in some particularly dramatic stories the heroes risk life and limb - chances are that’s not you, so be grateful for that!). All new levels require demanding new skills and mindsets. We fear that we won’t manage this, which is threatening to what we have built so far. It’s benevolent because we care about the people who rely on us and see their wellbeing as dependent on our own. This includes our families, business partners, and teams.
Morality - As I’m sure you’ve noticed, the human family is a messy, dynamic, complex community full of competing agendas, desires, and motivations. When we broaden our leadership vision we suddenly see many of current alliances and agreements as restrictive or otherwise problematic and find that we are navigating complicated ethical tradeoffs. Expect this. Human motivation and ethics are perpetually complicated and imperfect, which is why we have find such robust industries around law and ethics. One reason that Socrates is a notable historical figure is that he shifted the philosophical quest from nature to ethics. We have a deep need to feel that we’re doing the right thing, and leadership often tests this severely. It’s benevolent because we know what it’s like to suffer, be betrayed, and experienced disenfranchisement, and we want to avoid that for others as much as is humanly possible, even though we know that a certain measure of that is unavoidable in our imperfectible human state.
Worthiness - Leadership and creation, when effectively executed, brings great personal benefit. It attracts money, leisure, influence, renown, personal satisfaction, and many other kinds of social capital. And it seems to be an inviolable economic principle that such rewards are distributed unequally, lest they lose their value. When we seek to grow as leaders and creators we are unambiguously expressing our desires for greater abundance in all these ways, and that rubs some of our moral intuitions the wrong way. Who are we to desire such things when so many others struggle, and even starve? I’m stepping into my power; don’t they know the power they have? Is it possible for wealth to be more evenly distributed? This is an age-old question and one that may never be reconciled. When we grow in status many of us confront these questions quite directly. It’s benevolent because we recognize that wealth distribution seems arbitrary in many ways, we have compassion for those less fortunate, and we don’t want to abuse our privilege. (Whenever I find myself in the throes of such thoughts and feelings, I find that the World Poverty Clock is an effective antidote: https://worldpoverty.io/)
Most leaders I speak to have self-doubt that is some combination of these three. And in your “Agony in the Garden” moments the best thing you can do is to rationally think through this so you remember your deep goodness and constructively work through that self-doubt.
I cannot stress enough that these are all born of highly benevolent impulses, so they connect to a deep sense of goodness. But we must see them for what they are.
You’re not Arnold Schwarzenegger, a brute wall of testosterone unbothered by the inconvenience of introspection. You’re the hero in your own story. And every story worth telling features moments of self doubt on the way to the promised land. And that must be a good thing.