“Purpose is related to the imperfectability of human life.  Human life MUST be imperfectable because we need opportunities to grow and develop into better versions of ourselves, and so every generation must face new challenges and traumas.  That’s the human condition.  It’s absurd, and I think many people sublimate that to ill effect.

PURPOSE will always be related to your particular assessment of the imperfectness of human life, and thus your path is revealed.  We can all see what is wrong or missing.  This is a millennia-long human pursuit that transcends our specific, individual lifespans.  We each have a place in this grand story, which is why I love both Kierkegaard AND Hegel (Hegel had a grand, totalizing theory of human history and Kierkegaard hated it because he couldn’t find room for the individual among the grandeur - I think they were BOTH right).”

“The lesson is that agreement with others AND ourselves, is not always so simple to find.  Sometimes, often, and especially when it really matters, it is actually very hard won.  Don’t know why, but it is.

What you want is on the other side of agreement.

And agreement is often on the other side of…”

“This is an exacting and nuanced equation. Your very peace, happiness, and life satisfaction rests upon it, and it takes true precision to discern.  I find most people simply don’t go deep enough.  When I talk to leaders who are frustrated, and struggling to discern the shape of this in their specific lives, we leave no stone unturned, no angle unexamined.  We need to look at everything, because everyone you touch is somehow involved in that question of what you want.

And, once this is discerned, HOW is it ultimately executed?  Simple.  Everything that you want is on the other side of something very specific…”

“Life is unremitting, and our quality of life is generally high, which places heavy demands on us (to be fair, the demands of lower quality of life are also quite high, so the demands of life are ultimately inescapable).  It’s enough to drive anyone to despair from time to time, but some of us feel it quite persistently, and most people, for some reason, don’t understand.  Some people tell me it is even fruitless to describe this feeling to their therapists because even THEY don’t get it.  This shows me that my thinking and work has an important role in what is typically called “mental health”.  I don’t like that term, but it’s the best one we have for now.

To quote a paraphrase of Kierkegaard: “...existence in this earthly realm must lead a sensitive person to despair.  Despair, Kierkegaard held, is the inevitable result of the individual’s having to confront momentous concrete ethical and religious dilemmas as an individual.  It is the result of the individual’s having to make, for themself and alone, choices of lasting significance.”  Some people feel that at a profound level.”

“First of all, I think human life has an alienating quality.  It’s what the Existentialists discerned about 100 years ago.  We’re all going through our lives, highly dissatisfied in many ways, with the unceasing friction of merely existing in space and time gnawing away at our souls just a little in each moment.  And we’re all doing this together, never quite sure if others are having the same experience of alienation and spiritual fatigue.  Part of the power of the Existentialists was creating a body of literature that spoke to this very condition, and in doing so easing the very condition by helping us all relate to one another more.

But for creative leaders it goes a step further.  We experience not only that perpetual friction of existence, but also the perpetual vision of what could be.  It’s a benevolent vision, usually involving some thriving organization that provides terrific service while taking care of its people, with close ties to all the communities it touches.  And such things are never built easily.  That’s the friction of leadership.  And it’s alienating too, because such leaders are rare.  But if you’re one of them, you know.”

“This is a small example, but its lessons can be generalized to much harder, more complicated ones. All leadership choices are based on similar calculations, and every choice tells a story. A friend of mine specializes in the field of semiotics, which basically looks at the world as a massive collection of signals, each of which tells a story. To change your results, look at the stories.”

How about that?  One of the strongest leaders I know, and she doesn’t think of herself that way, simply because she has inherited a highly limited concept of leadership.  And I don’t blame her - it’s an image that is reinforced for many of us through considerable cultural conditioning.  A leader is a strong personality, commanding the respect of a room, speaking with clarity and confidence, motivating followers into urgent action.

I wonder how many great leaders are out there, suppressing their considerable gifts and potential influence due to this highly limited notion of what leadership is.

She said “What do you think?”

I said, “Absolutely you are!  Because here’s how I define leadership…

“A few days ago I talked to someone who became interested in my thinking and immediately found it helpful for his vision.  Shortly after that I heard him speak about his organization for a few minutes.

Afterward he approached me and said ‘Well, what do you think?  How did I do?’

I gave him my very honest answer, which is what I tell everyone who asks questions like this.  “I can’t answer that, because we didn’t start at the right place in the process.”

“To translate his very polite words into immature idiot (which is what I was at the time):

Hey you f*cking dummy, don’t you realize that we’re a SOCIAL species?  There IS no job without the students.  Then it’s just you standing up there, flapping your lips about stuff you like.  Any dumbass can do that.  The job IS engaging the students, learning their passions, working with their motivations, helping them succeed.  It’s not about YOU!

It took me a few years to really get it, but now I do.  Actually, not entirely.  It’s still easy for me to feel sorry for myself and forget that I’m here to serve others, and that it is others’ success that is the entire barometer for my efforts…”

“We all leave clues all the time. We have a brand whether we know it or not, and often the branding we AREN’T aware of leaves the strongest impression. It doesn’t matter what you say, only what you signal. People are watching closely.

I think that’s what makes coaching so powerful. It’s a different perspective, typically with a keenly refined and articulated understanding of human nature, that enters the picture and expresses what it sees so that you can cut through the subjective fog and get exceptionally clear on exactly what needs to be done next and exactly how it needs to be done.”

“Being human is hard, in all times and places.  We each suffer from narrative trauma, existential friction, combinatorial explosion, and a sense of absurdity.  (You can learn more about those perpetual human problems here.)  We like to be with other people who understand those problems, at least instinctively, and provide respite in some way.  We tend to call that sense of respite a “high vibration”.  When you are in a high vibration, or with someone else who is, you tend to forget the pain of living, and this creates a good energetic exchange.

Here’s what the Law of Attraction ACTUALLY is…”

“This whole process is what some call “The Universe becoming aware of itself”.

You’ve been entrusted with a little tiny piece of that. It’s a mysterious miracle, and that’s why success starts with gratitude. And that’s why your life is infinitely valuable, just for being. Don’t forget that.

But, there’s another piece, another angle from which to look at it…”

“As long as we’re in the Realm of Action (which all of us are), we are forced by the nature of reality itself to take actions all the time.  And all actions have motivations.  And therefore, motivations are automatic.  We all have motivation in abundance.  The trick is to EXAMINE and OPTIMIZE the motivations we already have, and in order to do that we need to look at the RESULTS we are getting, because all actions have results, and to reiterate, we can’t stop taking actions.

So, the motivations we have in abundance are ultimately responsible for our results.  How are your results?  Satisfactory, or in need of change?  And aren’t they always in need of change?  Time to examine and optimize our motivations.”

“Thinking through the metaphysical frame I do, I’ve realized that the way “motivation” is typically used in our language is a misnomer.  We talk about “finding motivation” as if it’s something we don’t have.  But it’s actually the OPPOSITE - we can’t ESCAPE motivation!  We’re constantly motivated simply due to the structure of reality.  Sometimes I wish I could stop the world and get off, but it’s not possible.  We HAVE motivation whether we want it or not.  Our challenge, then, is not to FIND motivation.

Here’s the proof…”

“In short, we create our identity from our past pain, act in the present, and build a better future for ourselves through service to others based on the IDEAL forms we perceive through personal communion with the energy from which the universe emanates.  This is what is known as manifestation, and it has a long history, which is the very history of metaphysics.

And in Truth, all is united.  Do you see and grasp it?  How do you overcome your trauma?  What action do you take in the present?  What IDEAL do you perceive?  And how is your relationship with all that is?  These are the metaphysical questions you must answer.”

“I think truth is unified, and so I pursue the deep connections between all that is. And I see profound unity in many important concepts and forces that we perceive to infuse meaning and purpose into our human existence. I’m going to tell you about a few of them. Here is the briefest ever history of metaphysics, mysticism, monotheism, and manifestation.”

“As such I am always looking for the deeper unifying patterns between concepts and phenomena that appear disparate and unrelated.  The results seem helpful to entrepreneurs and leaders.  I’m not always sure why, but they are.  This tells me that many ambitious, creative, and passionate people are trying to figure out what this miraculous human life thing is all about, and are intentionally anchoring their creative efforts and outcomes to the deepest possible sense of purpose and meaning. “

“Here’s the good news.  That sense of absurdity is the beginning, not the end.  It’s the beginning of wonder, pondering, admitting that you don’t have all the answers, and that you’re here to search.  I find time and time again that this sense of absurdity is actually the entry point to a wellspring of inspiration that comes from realizing that, in this time and place, as perhaps never before in the human condition, we can make our own meaning, and that we have more resources, tools, worldviews, frameworks, and approaches than any human has had at any previous point in history.  Let not your heart be troubled.  Rejoice in the goodness that is your life.”

“But it’s only achieved under certain, very specific conditions. These conditions must be intentionally pursued and engineered. And the process is not for the faint of heart. It demands radical honesty about you and the human condition itself.

It only happens when you get exceptionally clear about what you want, and, most importantly, on what you’re avoiding. I don’t know why, but it’s true. And we’re all avoiding something…😏”

“Some premises that seem to be true (let me know if you disagree!)…

1. Most of existence doesn’t grow, but a little bit does (that’s MOTION vs. LIFE)

2. Most life grows in only 1 way, and then is considered fully mature

3. Humans have the need to mature and then grow in other ways

4. Premise 3 is the essence of the human condition, and the reason it feels so strange and absurd

Get it?  Grow at least twice, and don’t stop.  That’s the human condition.  And it’s different from the other ones.”